No Challenge
by Fyotousai Kondosin
Summary: Two friends argue over who will win the next match.


NO CHALLENGE  
  
** NOTICE! SEVERAL PEOPLE HAVE TRIED TO TELL ME THAT THIS IS A RIP-OFF OF THE OTHER FIC WRITTEN ON THE SAME SUBJECT KNOWN AS 'The Unworthy Challenger.' FOR THOSE WHO WILL REVIEW, REALIZE THAT 'The Unworthy Challenger' WAS POSTED A DAY BEFORE THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF THIS ONE. THX. AND FOR THOSE WHO REVIEWED LIKE THIS WAS A RIP-OFF, YOU PEOPLE ARE SUCH DUMB-ASSES. **  
  
** First off, each next paragraph is a different person (their are only two people in this one) and it's two friends arguing about who'll win the next fight. Also, the opinions in the below rap are not necessarily meant to be taken literally and are, in fact, fictional (to me, anyway). **  
  
  
I bet I beat your ass easy today  
you just got no skills in Smash Bros. Melee  
but this time, which character to play?  
Who should I beat your ass with, whadya say?  
  
I don't know who your gonna use  
but I already know who I'm gonna choose  
Cuz with Link I'm about to make you pay your dues  
with a forward A Smash I give you a slash  
and a bash with a bomb and you walk away gashed  
your 'tude'll be dashed, and who ever you picked thrashed  
you'll be trashed and I'll rack another victory to my stash.  
  
Stupid fool  
Link is nothin' but a tool  
even if you think he's cool  
he's nothin' in a duel  
I'll school you a rule  
and charge you face first like a bull.  
  
Dude, that's just crazy  
your skills are gettin' hazy  
I know you'll be using Peach  
lookin' like Daisy.  
  
Why would I continue to use that ho?  
She has no decent moves, you know?  
You think you've got the skills to show  
but your moves have gotta go  
and your strategy, it really blows  
you'll never bust my fighting flow  
with blow after blow I'll hoe you to the ground  
and beat you faster than the speed of sound  
don't mess with these rounds of ground bustin' bounds  
because a victory here, you've never first found.  
  
So, you think the king you're crowned?  
I'm going to beat your ass in the first round  
I'll grab you with Mario and swing your ass around.  
  
You can't joke this through  
Mewtwo will kill you.  
Don't think that you can kick my ass  
I'll finish you off with one quick Skull Bash  
your foolish stunts will never pass  
forget it, against me you'll never last.  
Mario's too much of a fatty to fight  
Psychic type will beat him down with all their might  
it's quite a sight to see with this two eyed fright  
and believe it, no bark can be worse than Mewtwo's bite.  
  
You think that'll help win this fight  
Captain Falcon will punch him dead with all of his might  
with a Falcon Punch you'll not last the night  
and the sight of that fright will be your last sigh.  
Not another breath the Mewtwo will breath  
if you think you'll win with that, just leave  
because you're skills are beneath me  
just try it and see, a winner this time, you'll never be.  
  
We'll just have to see  
but Falco's Forward Smash B  
will knock Captain Falcon falling into the sea  
So get offa me, you'll lose, clearly.  
  
To hell with that, G  
I'll bust out Shiek  
and bash Falco's beak,  
put an end to that freak,  
you need to know, I'm at my peak  
I'm flawless, there is no leak  
is it truly a win you seek?  
You're future is startin' to look bleak  
but beatin' your ass, what a treat  
I'll land right on toppa ur head with my feet  
while I'm upside down in the air, what a feat  
and then your humiliation'll be complete  
when soon then, you and your maker will meet  
you thinkin' your fighting style is neat  
but you'll be stuck six feat under the peat.  
  
Wait until I show you Bowsa  
it's gonna wow ya.  
With spikes on his back  
more painful than thumbtacks  
I'll pack your rack to the Mute City race track.  
Breathin' fire with all my power  
Just call me sire, you damn coward.  
Your style's goin' sour, you got no cream  
and get your ass beat down when I let off steam  
even slow moves can beat your ass, it seems  
you couldn't beat me right now, not even in your dreams.  
  
Bowser's way too big even for his power  
he could be too easily beat with an Unown shower  
he'd even get stuck in a Hyrule Castle tower  
and how dare you call me a damn coward!?  
Now I see how it is  
now you're gettin' me pissed  
how many ways I could beat you I'd list  
but I'd rather do the talking with my fist!  
  
Ha, you gotta feel dissed  
cuz all your attacks missed  
I'll cut your fist right offa yo wrist.  
Let's slam your ass with Luigi's Green Missile  
you gettin' stuck in a pickle, oh shit, sit still.  
  
Tell me how much pain you feel  
while you watch the PokŠball peel  
but what else got you stuck?  
Is it that flipper wheel?  
  
Why you gotta take my style and steal?  
Is that all you got, to earn a meal?  
Your moves are mild  
while my style is wild.  
  
When it comes down to the end  
I know who is my friend  
I'll pick Marth and then  
it's time to beat your tail end.  
  
Marth is a damn toy  
compared to Roy boy  
you can't catch me with this ploy  
quit playin' coy  
you actin' gay  
this shit can't stay  
the same every day  
you haven't got skill to play  
like a bad-ass in Smash Bros. Melee  
though fight you may  
you won't last the day.  
  
Roy's air moves are gay as hell  
you won't get the priviledge of jail  
you going to end up straight in hell  
punch your carcass down, you fell  
will you survive? Only the fire will tell  
Come back at me with that? It just won't sell  
Dr. Mario'll put you in the hospital  
Calm down dude, you need to chill  
take another Megavitamin pill  
don't feel any better? What's the deal?  
Maybe that's how you're supposed to feel  
after takin' a bash to your green hat bill  
this is the type of clash that's meant to kill!  
  
In terms of skill  
your at the bottom of the hill  
I'll kill you with an iron will.  
Confident enough to use Jigglypuff  
normal humiliation just isn't enough  
you'll be beaten by this ball of fluff  
when it comes to fightin' you don't got the stuff  
even TRYING to win like that is rough  
and to beat me, you'll need to be more tough.  
  
I'll beat that bitch with a crazy laze  
and this low skill gimmick's just a phase  
so watch me let loose with a Ganondorf blaze  
a Warlock Punch will leave you dazed  
and you'll be feeling this hit for days.  
Won't even leave you standing, I don't need to complain  
the thought that you challenge me is totally insane  
you can just watch your hopes slip down the drain  
this cocky attitude just can't be maintained  
and every move you do is utterly in vain  
every item you throw I dodge and sustain  
and let me get near and I'll raise cain  
your insults make me mad I've gotta refrain  
from gettin' to angry to play this game  
your style with everyone is just the same  
remember when I told you Jigglypuff was lame?  
Your mockings are simple and plain  
you need to remember to remain sane  
in terms of skill, I'm on the next plain  
with muscles so strong, you see my neck vein  
so do you see my skill? Ya what's my name?  
Send you to your death in a ball of flame  
in Snapshot mode you get beat every frame  
in every picture I've got taken from the game  
so I'll beat you with this fine lookin' dame  
and let Zelda get you screaming in pain  
bowl your round ass down the 13th lane  
for bad luck to get you down and rattle your brain  
notice how your powers are tame  
and see how my moves got me fame  
don't challenge me, I put you to shame  
I even won after your homies came  
remember, the result remains the same  
do another bullshit move, you call that game?  
  
Yoshi will make your chances slim  
even though your future is grim  
you see me crack a grin, such a sin  
I could be drunk off my ass since din'  
since I got addicted to the red gin  
still beat you back into the bin  
I smack you up like Eminem does Kim  
remember when you came first to the den?  
I've beaten you every time since then  
think you can change it since way back when  
but I guess that's the way it's been  
you're shit's corny you layin' eggs like a hen  
you have no skills and you try to hang with real men.  
  
  
** To be continued and/or editted. ** 


End file.
